Tuesday, July 27, 2010

How much can one kid take?

Where is the breaking point? When do things become too much? When am I doing more harm than good? 

These are all questions that I ask almost daily on our road trips to therapy. We are up to 4 days a week most weeks, 5 every other. Somehow I'm supposed to fit ABA therapy in too. I suppose, like a good mother would do, I'll find a place for it to fit in. When you break it up, our therapy doesn't even add up to much....a mere 6 hours a week at the most. It's the travel time, the waiting room time, the loading all three children up and hauling them around kicking and screaming time that makes me question my abilities. 

I have to learn to make time for all of my children, not just Henry. Let's face it, all of them are AFFECTED by autism, even if only one of them is diagnosed with it. I have a nine year old that loves animals. Why isn't she in some sort of club for that? I have a ten month old that loves....well, right now she loves most things. Why isn't she having playdates? 

In the next few weeks, I will be getting together with Henry's therapists to make a more set schedule. No more of these "work you in when we can" office politics. I will demand that we have a set time for therapy. I will demand that Henry's speech and OT be scheduled together in order to avoid travelling so many days in one week. These crazy schedules aren't good for him, my other children, or myself. If they can't accommodate us, I'm sure someone else can. 

Tonight, in the middle of the mother of all meltdowns I realized, THIS is the breaking point. Poor Henry sat in the floor and screamed, kicked, hyperventilated, and kicked some more. It wasn't a tantrum. He COULDN'T stop himself. Nothing would help him, he had to just get it out. As I held my baby there in my arms, in the floor and rocked him, I came to the conclusion that something has to give. We will not be stopping any therapies, but we will be doing a better job of coordinating our times. It's wearing my poor children out. 

Hopefully, in working out a new schedule, I can work on this blog a little more also. I realize it's been neglected from the get-go, but when it's blog time or family time...well, as scarce as it is, I'm going to choose family time over everything. :)