Judge Judy has nothin' on Mamas....

I have a lot of friends with children. Who am I kidding? I have maybe two friends that don't and that is only because one of them is a couple still expecting and another is a couple who has fertility issues. I'm often bombarded with emails, text messages, and the obligatory Facebook post about what wonderful things their children are doing today. I need to do this. I need to make it a point to share one new thing that my kids do every, single, day. I don't do it often enough. It is now a challenge to myself at before I sleep at night, to think of one good thing that each of my children did to make my day brighter.

Amazingly, this is now being mocked in the blogging world and Facebook alike. I feel like its becoming a bad thing to share milestones, and don't dare say that you are "blessed" because then you're a liar who pretends that nothing is wrong in life. Perhaps those people just don't want to share the "wrong", but instead of people thinking of it that way, they see it as someone's attempt at making life look perfect. So am I now supposed to post all of the crap things that happen in our house daily? My friends, I would clog your news feed and RSS like a barracks toilet on Mexican night at the chow hall. Want me to post only the good? I hate to say it, but on some days, I get in my slump and I see no good going on. OHHHH, you want a nice, politically-correct, mixture of the good and bad of life!! I get it!

Heres the thing about blogging. Your blog is YOURS. You post the good, you post the bad, you post them both and there you have.....I'll stop myself from breaking out into song here. Some people only post the good. On the contrary, in blogging and on Facebook, some people only post the bad. I find though, that I have those people on my news feed or my followed blogs for a reason. I am intrigued.

What I'm saying is that if someone wants to post their Happy McHappyFace all day, everyday, why are other mamas complaining about it? I assure you, they have bad in their life. They just don't share it with the world. And if that gives other mamas some sort of false sense about the blogger's life and their own, then so be it. We can't save 'em all. There are a few, well-loved by many thousands of people blogs out there, that I cannot stand to read. So, I don't read them. Don't read it if it the only emotion you get out of it is anger towards the person and their so-called perfection. We all know its a dream world, but hey....if I'm having a dream world kind of day, no one better burst my bubble. If you don't like someone's happy, don't taint it with your sad or angry.

I will continue to blog our days. Good days, bad days, whatever I feel like posting that day. Mostly good. Because I am blessed. I owe all of our days to God. When need be, I will praise him. I will even *gasp* praise him publicly. There are joys with Autism, not just the horrible things that people read and hear. My ability to see those joys are what makes me blessed. I'm praying that He will help me find the ability to share ALL of the good that Autism has brought into our lives.

Unless there is something that can actually be done to help out a fellow mama, why are we judging each other so harsly? We must be the warriors that we want to be in our child's life, whether they have special needs or not. We must show them that we will not make fun of others for any reason. Whether it be a false sense of what reality is or the doom and gloom kind of human. We must be the example of what we want them to become.

Autism and the "terrible twos"

This morning, my sweet boy is in his room, working on his new favorite past time, and singing a sweet song. I have no clue what any of the words are or what song he is singing, but a mama could get used to this. As he does this though, I can't help but to wonder when the next tantrum is coming. It won't be long. A page in his phone book will turn when he doesn't want it to, or a song will come on his radio that he doesn't like, or his sister will look at him.

All mothers expect tantrums, here, we live them. Everyone in the house is subject to it. Everything is everyone's fault. The tantrums here last an hour, sometimes longer. Redirection and ignoring just don't cut it when your child focuses on the one thing that pissed him off. We even get through with one screaming and kicking match, only to have Henry think about it an hour later and start all over again. How do you redirect a child who doesn't comprehend when you try to tell him or her that "its ok". You don't. You let them have a go at it for a little while, making sure the other children are not within kicking distance. You try to rock the child throwing the tantrum. You gently squeeze their chest or put on their compression vest if you can actually manage that. Personally, I let Henry throw a fit for about 10-15 minutes and then I try the other things. I feel that he needs to get some of that anger out somehow, so for now, at the age of 2, we just tantrum it out. Then, I pick him up and walk around while swaying. We sing songs (Mommy sings way off key). His favorites are "Froggy Went 'a Courtin'", "ABCs", "Firework", and "Boots".

I'd be willing to say that about 30% of our day is spent listening to or feeling the wrath of a tantrum. Know what? Most days, I don't mind. The good far outweighs the "bad". The sweet mutter of "cup" or a song of "I love you", makes it all completely worth it. :)

Doing it for Charlie

I know that I don't keep up with this blog well enough for my own child, but today I'm going to take a short break from sharing about Henry. Today I'm going to share with you the story of a sweet boy named Charlie whose life was too short. I'm going to tell you about his mother, who is on a mission to make sure that as many lives can be saved as possible.

This is the much-loved Charlie.

Back in October, baby Charlie became ill. He showed the normal signs that a child would show while sick: sleepiness, fever, etc. The doctors thought, just like most would, that he just had a virus. No one knew that Charlie had meningitis because most of the well known warning signs just weren't there. The rest of this story, I will let you read for yourself. It isn't my story to tell.

Let me get to Charlie's mom. Katy is an inspiring soul, someone who has come out of this ordeal as strong as she possibly could have. Her baby boy was lost at only 3 months old, yet she has become an advocate, a woman on a mission to turn tragedy into triumph, a woman who is going to save lives. And she is going to save those lives in more ways than one. On top of becoming an advocate for meningitis awareness, she has also continued to pump breastmilk and donate to her local milk bank. This way, babies who wouldn't otherwise have the gift of mommy milk, may do so through her.

Katy and her family have already begun to raise money for The Meningitis Trust (The Charlie Mann Fund) by having friends donate online and by putting together a fundraiser.

I want you to read this article in the Huddersfield Daily Examiner:  "Mum Katy Mann's Vow..."

I want you to go to her blog that she used as a starting point to write out what exactly happened: Blog

I want you to go here and to donate if you can: Charlie Benjamin Mann Tribute Fund

I want you to learn the signs of meningitis.

Because, like Katy, I want you to keep your babies safe.

I could write on and on about the days just before and after Charlie passed. His story affected a whole community of women, all from different places of the world. There were churches across oceans praying for this sweet boy and there were candles lit in more countries than you can imagine. Instead, I'll just let you read this family's story in their own words.